Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:32:44 -0400 http://www.starrandchapman.com/ Starr & Chapman, Inc. News en-us http://www.starrandchapman.com/images/logo.gif http://www.starrandchapman.com/ nate@ecape.com http://www.starrandchapman.com/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=8 It saddens me that our contemporary reality has manifested in a mania of competition and achievement in raising our children and that we have begun to lose sight of what's really important. Each child should grow and thrive in an environment that is right for him or her. Instead we have let our own fears -- fear that our kids won't measure up, fear that they will be lost in the shuffle or won't succeed -- dominate our behavior. This fear has created a society of parents who over-program children's schedules and try to "keep up with the Jones'." We buy our children too much of the same stuff -- from clothes and toys to schools and after-school programs. We help our kids too much with their homework and with projects they should be doing on their own. We may even call a teacher or principal to complain about our children's grades. Have parental roles and goals changed so drastically in just a few short decades? Have we experienced some shift in the values we hoped to promote and nurture in the lives of our children? Haven't these goals always been basic? Safety, respect, fairness, responsibility, accountability, independence, the ability to self-advocate, and a love of learning have been the basic values we hope to instill in our children, understanding that they will help them become confident and strong future leaders of our world. So how do we best prepare them in youth for what comes next, namely college and the future? Focus on the child and don't get caught up in the mania. Remember that each child is unique and has specific interests, learning style and pace. Celebrate this! This will take us one step closer to knowing our children. There is a right educational match for each child. Whether it is Montessori, Waldorf, the public school system, homeschooling, or a more traditional or religious private school, there is a school out there that will perfectly match your child's needs. The same is true for college and university later on. Do not assume that the most competitive school or college is the right place for your child. Seek the fit, and the rest will fall into place. Be involved in the overall life of your child. Don't sit with him to make sure he gets his homework done or has the best project in class just because you helped him. Stay involved in parent organizations, volunteer at your child's school, and get to know the teachers and families in your child's school environment. Being involved in your child's school will help your child understand that you support the learning process, approach and philosophy of your child's school. This will further validate what your child is experiencing at his school. It will also keep you in the school loop in a much more concrete way. Spend time with your child and listen to him. Life's too short and children grow up so quickly. Know that if your child feels loved and heard, that he or she will feel comfortable articulating his or her needs and will come to you with questions, worries, or just to tell you about his or her day. We have the power to be the guiding force in our student's life. Listening to your child and spending time with him or her will give you the opportunity to sense when he or she needs a tutor or feels ready to go to a summer camp or might benefit from a test prep program. The time we spend with our children will help them uncover their own extraordinary talents and skills and further develop their sense of self. Don't be afraid to break away from traditional ways of learning. Allow your child to forge his or her own path. Remember Twain's famous quote and follow it, don't let school get in the way of your child's education. Remember that our fundamental goals for our children are much more important than pursuing an Ivy League education or learning from a world-renowned piano teacher. Consider travel opportunities, community colege based programs, or even a gap year. Understand that some of the most valuable life lessons are learned off campus, in the world, and help create the kinds of opportunities in your child's life where such learning can happen. Do not be afraid to explore the resources around you. Whether it's a tutoring company, an old trusted artist friend, an educational consultant, dance academy or your local Rotary Club chapter, understand that there are opportunities and resources out there for you to explore and, if the fit is right, pursue. Finally, remember that what colleges and the world beyond will look for in your child is something extraordinary, be it fluency in other languages, confidence, a strong work ethic, a honed and polished skill or talent, and/or a sense of self-sacrifice and service to others. Our job as parents is to encourage our kids to be kids and to discover, explore and celebrate their uniqueness, interests and passions. If we focus on the child and his or her true educational match while providing opportunities for them to pursue passions and dreams, the result will be young adults who are unafraid to face the world, confident and able to build their own success. Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:32:44 -0400 http://www.starrandchapman.com/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=7 July site launch will allow for broader integration of media related to educational consulting and other current services. Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:34:57 -0400